"Citizen Wayne"
by Doug Knox, Randy Mentzer

Citizen Wayne is politically cool
Citizen Wayne he ain't no fool
Citizen Wayne does a face distortion
Citizen Wayne does a diplomatic contortion
Citizen Wayne got Spleenisitis
Citizen Wayne swelling of the Spleen
Citizen Wayne died a hero
Citizen Wayne please don't go
 
Who's that guy over there playin' the guitar?
His face looks mighty familiar to me
'My name is Citizen Wayne
My face has been framed'
Settle down Wayne
You're a pain to the brain
You're face should be in flames
Let me detail all the crimes you have maintained
 
Citizen Wayne caused his granny great pain
Called her a dog, said she ate her vittles like a wart-hog
Citizen Wayne got a granny-smack to the face
Citizen Wayne put his granny in her place
Got out a belt-sander and sanded his granny's face away
Citizen Wayne believes in anarchy today
 
Citizen Wayne is politically cool
Citizen Wayne he ain't no fool
Citizen Wayne does a face distortion
Citizen Wayne does a diplomatic contortion
Citizen Wayne got glaucoma
Citizen Wayne swelling of the eye
Citizen Wayne died a hero
Citizen Wayne please don't go