All political rallies banned! Unauthorized gatherings of 1 or more people are not permitted                                                                                                                                   Those who have instigated or participated in attacks on government offices, sabotage or damage to public property, created or participated in riots, committed fighting, smashing, robbing, arson or issued fake Weather Bureau forecasts must surrender themselves to the police at once so they can receive leniency                                                                                                                                               Attention! New Fowl Headwear Ordinances: Citizens may not cross state lines with a duck atop the head, or enter the state of Wisconsin with a chicken on their head                                                                                                                                               Demonstrators will be arrested! Non-demonstration Identification Permits are available at the Post Office                                                                                                                                               If you release more than your quota of allowed pigs into the woodlands, you will have to pay a fine for each additional pig and restore any damages caused by the extra pigs                                                                                                                                               NEWS FLASH from Châteauneuf-du-Pape, Provence-Alpes-Côte d’Azur, France: The overflight, the landing and the takeoff of aircraft known as flying saucers or flying cigars, whatever their nationality is, are prohibited on the territory of the community.                                                                                                                                               Re-education centers are available to those who wish to learn more about our glorious utopia!                                                                                                                                               The following state institutions have been abolished effective today: The People's Assembly, The State Council, The Council of Ministers, The Council of People's Justices, The Council of People's Attorneys, The Council of People's Inspectors, The Council of People's Immigration and The Council of People's Motor Vehicles                                                                                                                                               Attention! New Animal Protection Ordinances: It is illegal to take a lion to the movies, bring a flamingo to a barber shop, fish while on the back of a giraffe, bring bears to the beach or push a live moose out of a moving airplane                                                                                                                                               Think your neighbor is a spy? Report all suspicious activity to your local Nationalist Party Committee                                                                                                                                               Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal                                                                                                                                               New and tasty delicious People's Liberation Army cookies are now available... Hurry to your Central Military Commission recruitment center while supplies last!                                                                                                                                               No one has the right to use socialist property for personal gain or other selfish ends. This is a counter-revolutionary activity punishable by death... Putting salt on a railroad track is also punishable by death                                                                                                                                               It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire

Martial Law has been declared

No public rallies allowed!

By proclamation of the Communist Bison, martial law has been imposed and the Political Blockheads are now an illegal organization. Those viewing this website have been automatically added to a government database to assist in locating and apprehending you. To save everyone a great deal of time and trouble, we suggest you contact your local police department immediately so that your re-education processing can be planned and conducted in an efficient and productive manner.

Have a nice day.